Spelling..

I remember when I was 17 and had an essay to write. I decided to write a story and start with the classic ‘Once upon a time’. But I couldn’t spell ‘Upon’. U.P.O.N. Yes I was seventeen, and COULD NOT for the life of me remember how to spell a word that I had seen and read millions of times.

Apon....

Eupon...

Upawn...

Aporn...

Upoun...

Then I conveniently gave up on the essay....till later.

Yes I will be teaching your kids soon enough.

Don’t worry it’s not how you spell it, it’s how you use it.

Smiling is contagious

Have you heard that before? When you smile at someone, it is nearly impossible for that person to frown back at you. In fact, he will most likely smile in return....unless he was in the middle of a divorce or something like that....

Standing for 6 hours straight can get very boring and sometimes induce suicidal thoughts...but that’s just my job.

For those of you who don’t know, I recently hooked up with Levis jeans part time as a sales assistant

At times, when there are no more jeans left to fold, all a sales girl can do is stand and wait for customers.

And this is when you practice smiling.

occasional harajuku chicks.

In a day about 500 people pass by our Levis store; old people, families, kids, couples, Harajuku chicks, =.=, people going to the gym, friends, cleaner ladies, karats, workers, and crazy people.

old people

Family outing

friends!

Transsexuals 

 And something they’re all capable of doing is smiling.

So I smile at every one of them because it’s free AND because I hate passing by a shop and seeing bored sales assistants staring into space...

So how many smile back?

Have you ever had a random person smile at you? Do you smile back?

As a sales assistant I have become that random person.

For some people it’s a bit weird, and I get the raised eyebrow a lot or the are-you-looking-at-me look....theres also the completely nonexistent-smile look....

But for some, its so simple to smile or grin back...and no I’m not talking about the karats...

Standard Karat Smile

A lot of times my friends at work ask “oh you know her issit?”

me: "No I don’t. She knows how to smile that’s all."

 So the next time you see a normal looking person on the street, 

donate a smile today!...god knows the world needs to smile more.

When Liza Hits the Road!

"You've gotta just do it. Force yourself or you're not gonna get anywhere"
                                                                                Jacinta M. Lopez

 Hello everybody, my hair smells burnt, probably due to all that straightening. Boo hoo.

Anyway my friend Jes recently took some time off to give me a few much needed driving lessons.

Before that, I had been crawling around my block at 10km/h and I thought I was making excellent progress!

“How long are you gonna go round the same houses?”

I dunno.

“Okay I’m taking you driving”

So off we went...to the big and scary world of .....

OTHER DRIVERS!

Bring it  on!!

You Smart You Swerve...

Sometimes as I looked down and stared at my retarded gear stick that refused to change....drove into the lalang fields...jes screamed at me

As I came to a stop in the middle of the busiest junction in town, my car engine would pass away peacefully ...others HONKED at me.

Drove on gear 4 with a speed of 20km/h....others zoomed past me...

Nearly killed a man and daughter.....I smiled and waved....

haha love this... no disrespect

                              Manual Mayhem!!!


I guess its going to be a while before I can wind my screen down and say...

I went Jobbing...

Hello everybody. I live in the attic now.

Anyway since I was kindly given FOUR months by the government to bum away, I gratefully decided to work.

In order to work you have to LOOK for a job.

In order to LOOK for a job, you have to GET OVER your schizophrenic rejectophobia *fear of rejection*, a condition I was blessed with at birth.

This is how my brain functioned.

 mussssT get JOBBBB, or people will think I be A LOSERRRr

So I go to Jusco in the hopes of SCORING a job!

You know... before you do something or go for a function, you always sort of imagine how it will turn out, and then it never quite turns out the way you envisioned.

This is what I imagined before..

 But this is what happened.

haih. I'm not saying that the girl was racist or anything, she was just doing her job. But I'm sure there's a proper way of doing and saying things..

so I went home...dejected...sad...useless...bummed... 

And what did people say?!...

"its okay lizz. Try again"

                   - papa

"oh noo..why couldn't you?"

                   -mummy

"Haha kene reject"

                 -arif ruzlan

"Ko terlalu hodoh kot"

                 -arifuddin awang

"Why Jusco? Go teach tuition!"

                 -Jacinta

I tried again the next day, told a BUNCh of lies  untruths and got a job in LEVIS JEANS..

woot woot.

  

When I was just a Little Girl...

When we were little, my siblings and I loved bed time stories. my dad was the usual target.

Every night, we would beg and beg my father to tell us one of his tales.

When he was really sleepy this is how it would go.

Us: Papa! Papa! Tell a story la!

Papa: aiyo not today la

Us: tell la tell la! *jumps on bed*

Papa: *yawnnnnnn* ok ok. Once a upon a time...

Us: *sshh...quiet...papa started...

Papa: once upon a time....

Us: yesss?? Yessss??

Papa: there was a dog....

Us: oooohhhh

Papa: whose name was rover...

Us: Oh ok..then??

Papa: once there was a dog whose name was rover and....the story is over...*smiles*

We fell for that EVERY TIME! EVERY TIME I tell you!

On days he did prepare, my siblings and I never got fairy tales with happy endings. My dad preferred telling us scary stories from his past, or gory little tales that he had heard...to...put us to sleep. 

p.s. Papa, If you're reading this. I loved all those stories!

When your roommate discovers Skype

Recently I noticed a lot of blogs on living with roommates and how it can be tough. I would also like to add my two cents worth but not all of it is bad. ..

There are a lot of boundaries that I have broken down since I started living with a roommate. I have learnt to trust more and depend on her during emergencies, when I'm not around. 

HOWEVER my roommate has recently started to Skype with her boyfriend at her desk. And here are some of the problems that I face. 

1. Changing

I'm never sure if the computer is angled away from my bit of space, and I DO NOT want to end up performing a striptease for ANYBODY !!!

2. Sleeping. 

I'm sure the camera gets my bed as well. And I sleep like an animal so I really don't think it’s appropriate if he notices my funky moves in bed. 

3. Walking around. 

My roommate puts on a jacket every time she Skypes. Of course you can't expect me to put on my blazer in my own room. So there I am in the background, awkwardly darting around in my singlet and shorts=.= Very very inconvenient.

4. Digging your nose. 

Of course this is the most serious issue that I have to deal with because I like to maintain the cleanliness of my nostrils in the privacy of my room. But now EVEN THAT is gone! Do YOU like picking your nose with someone looking? See what I have to go through?!?!

5. Turning around

From where I sit, if I happen to stretch or turn around, BOOM I see a huge face on the screen staarinnnnggggg at meee. JEEZ. Basic movements hampered.

So what have I been doing about it?

I almost told her ...

1. That she was robbing me of my privacy

2.  That I felt like I was being violated by a pervert every day...

But she discovered a solution. 

THERE’S A SOLUTION!!! 

You have to sit with the laptop facing you and the wall behind you.

problem solved. I don't really enjoy using skype by the wayyy. Messenger (Yahoo or Windows Live) is much funnerrrr...

tee heee

If you are a girl...

Before I become a teacher and have to deal with all this... 

If You Are a G.I.R.L

Then these phrases should not be taken lightly!

WHEN YOU HEAR...

“Kedai Kopi bukak”/ “sun is very bright”

 “agak menonjol hari ini”

 “hutan hujan tropika”

1.   KEDAI KOPI

Sorry, kedai kopi does not mean the stall selling coffee. It refers to when a girl sits with her legs far apart or ‘terkangkang’.

“eh the sun very bright today” is also used for when something unwanted is ACCIDENTALLY seen. So if someone says that to youuu...please close shop!

Btw, these are for dungus who think that wearing shorts under their skirt means they can sit any way they want. NANTI LALAT MASUK BARU TAU!

don't misunderstand ok

2.  MENONJOL

This one I heard when I moved to Kedah, it refers to when a girl's upper front =P is distractingly bigger than normal.

“Nasi lemak besar” is also quite famous... but sometimes theres nothing you can do about it, except maybe...stop jumping??

4.  HUTAN HUJAN TROPIKA

This refers to when a girl is hairy, either legs or arms *ahem*....but this is not so bad. If the “RAINFOREST” comment is for your armpits, then something is WRONG!! Please deal with it A.S.A.P!

Some women see no shame in showing off their hairy armpits. Trust me, NO one agrees with them.

The ONLY time your armpit hair should be long, is of you were in a coma for a year...

coma patient maybe?

Some Additional Points

1.   Please wear the correct underwear with your pants. Some donkeys really know how to wear tight butt-hugging pants, to show off their ASSets but let me tell you, all we really notice is your HUGE PANTY LINE.  

BoDOH BUTA

 4 semesters of hanging out with cartoons(boys) and you will pick up certain things. I think it’s important that I share these with you so you KNOW...haha. Because they might seem like ORDINARY phrases but please do not ignore.