When you feel Incompetent, Dream Big

I don't know how the feeling of incompetence creeps up on you like a slimy black mist (as far as mists can be slimy and black and creep. Okay that was a lousy simile) but I absolutely detest it. One minute I'm feeling very accomplished having driven up 80 km to my university,by myself and the next minute I'm flopped over sideways on the bed, contemplating deleting my Facebook account because it has prevented me from keeping myself updated with worldly news. I mean how am I supposed to pass off intelligent opinions about the violent protests in Kenya...or was it Nigeria (it's okay, protests are everywhere these days) when all I stared at were bloody Candy Crush requests, and pictures of *hashtag* foodporn?

The way I saw it, Facebook users comprised of two sorts, the ones who went on and on about some cause or another, wishing people to "like" their witty enthusiasm, and the other kind, who just wished people would like their faces. And there are a lot of floaters in the middle who are there to pay up the "likes" and reap no benefits except the freedom to scroll.  Come to think of it, they sound like middle class taxpayers.

Immediately I decided to deactivate my account (after replying an FB message from my aunt. Priorities.) and then launch into some sort of Eat. Pray. Love endeavour of self discovery. I would download a whole playlist of John Mayer acoustic songs and play them loudly in the car (wait this is sounding like a roadtrip). Cancel John Mayer. I needed a project. My own cause to champion.

My thoughts drifted to the dimwits who kept putting out rubbish by the road in this one unfortunate spot around the corner from my place. It was rubbish too big to be collected by the trucks. This included bits of broken sofa, bed frames, carpets, stoves. I'd even seen a television set once. They would all be heaped together with regular stinking rubbish and the whole thing was an eyesore. One day, a signboard was put up warning anyone who littered that they would be made to pay a fine of up to RM1000. Who? Who would make them pay?? And as if spitting in the face of this authority, people began to pile their cushions and  furniture right beneath the sign. It was full on People Vs  Municipal and nothing seemed to stop these ignorant twits. Aha cause for a cause!

I imagined myself setting up a daytime watch over the area, maybe a desk (with coffee? no ...flyers) and a big signboard saying something simple yet creative but to-the-point because we were dealing with morons after all. Maybe, "STOP BEING IDIOTS LITTERING  THROWING RUBBISH  . DO NOT LITTER.
So much for creative. Oh and I would start a garden patch there, surely people wouldn't toss a microwave onto a lovely bloom of flowers. Heliconias maybe, they are so elegant and they spread really fast. And maybe some (Googled) small yellow flower weed to carpet the area with prettiness.

Soon people would get really annoyed, and I would steel myself against some of the nastiest fat old men who were determined to chuck their unwanted household bits. The papers would become interested in "One Woman's noble cause to change humanity". (ha take that, stupid worldly-affairs ranters on FB). Finally people would begin to change their attitudes. Or if they didn't, I'd stake out long enough so that some of the older unchangeable bricks would die off. One small problem with that. I lived in Tanjung Malim 80 km away while site of cause was in Klang.

Right. Well always space for that in my to-do list. My phone beeps. Notification from Facebook. Mental note: DEACTIVATE FACEBOOK.
X has just sent you a request on Candy Crush. This. cannot. be. happening.

Enough is enough

In a sudden burst of inspiration, I grab my post-its and make a list.
1. get baju kurungs (it has been two weeks. she owes me)
2. detergent (current detergent powder has clumped into rocks)
3. return library books (good reads. both of them)
4. buy a guitar pick (maybe not)
5. Bind and staple lesson plan (this is homework to be honest)
6. Buy an empty CD (for softcopy of homework)

I love lists, if you've thought long and hard while writing them, then the actual doing process becomes a breeze.

I called up the baju kurung lady. Surprise surprise. She wasn't ready with my orders made two weeks ago.
Guitar pick can wait.

I get my detergent (liquid this time), bind and staple my report and buy a new CD. Feeling tremendously accomplished. I march up to the library, return the two holiday reads (two days in advance! pat on my back) and float upstairs to get two new ones.

There, I meet some sort of head-librarianish lady who seems surprised to see anyone reading the novels that have been displayed.

"Are the novels any good?" she suddenly asks in a tone that suggested that she didn't think very highly of them.

"Oh! yeah, yeah. good variety" I replied shaken by the interruption of my quiet perusal.

" Good, we try. We're going to put in more after installing the shelves" she explains, gesturing around at the men taking measurements.

"oh. yeah. great. wonderful" I nod really quickly racking my brains for better adjectives.

Suddenly I had an idea. A flash of  brilliance. A brain wave.
"um, what if I had a lot of novels and wanted to...could I give them to the library?"

 What if I had novels? what kind of stupid phrasing was that? as if it was some great hypothetical challenge.
What if I told you I had novels...would you take me seriously?

" yes of course! my door's always open. You'll have your name written on the back" she says as if that last bit was the clincher, what I was desperate for..acknowledgement. *mental scoff*

" oh haha, yeah, so I'll just carry? so.. your office?yeah okay" back to retarded speech.

Okay so I may not have changed an entire litterbug community today.

However I have contributed for the BETTERMENT of MANKIND.
 *slice of humble pie? No thank you

The Silly Secret

It's about time you knew.

When I was 13, we had a class pet...well pets actually. Two terrapins to be exact. And over the weekend, I was on take home duty.

I woke up on Sunday morning to discover that one of the absolutely boring silent dull uninspiring creatures was missing! Naturally I blamed my younger brother. He must have, at the dead of night, taken one out, trampled it to death and then disposed of the body in the pond. It made complete and perfect sense at the time. So I beat him up..

But I was still one terrapin short!

First I must explain, that to me, the terrapins looked EXACTLY alike
My untrained eyes saw nothing to tell them apart.
Two peas in a pod, identical, mirror image...yeah you get the picture

So trying to deal with my state of panic (and to stop me hitting my brother), my dad suggested that I get one from the pet store and then explain to my friends how I misplaced one terrapin. 

At first I was horrified! EXPLAIN HOW I KILLED AN ANIMAL? EXPLAIN? to Dhanya, Jes, Shalz and the rest of the animal freaks lovers how the terrapin they had been playing with speaking to and measuring everyday was most probably in a drain somewhere? No. No thank you.

I might as well stop going to school.

But I was okay with buying a new one....that was GENIUS

So we headed to the Simpang Lima pet store and bought a terrapin.
Guess what... it looked like this...

                               

So I was happy enough. Going to school I was so smug feeling like I HAD FOOLED THE WORLD

The next morning at school,  I placed them in that annoying brown ceramic bowl outside the classroom, and casually tossed a leaf over one of them, I already couldn't tell which was the pretender.

By recess Dhanya knew there was something wrong.

I overheard them discussing it outside class...

Dhanya: "If you look closely at this green color patch on the underside of it's left front toe, it's definitely different"

Jes and Shalini: "Hey omg ya! so totally different.."

Dhanya: "YA even the head is protruding at a slightly different angle from its normal, and its not usually this shy right??"

Jes and Shalini:  "Hey omg ya! so totally different.."

Dhanya: "And if you observe the thickness of the shell *takes out calipers* and its overall diameter, it's smaller by 0.000000000001 mm., I swear something is wrong"

Jes and Shalini: "Hey omg ya! so different"

HOW DID THEY KNOW????

WHAT DID THEY SEE????

another scary thought

So I rearranged face to resemble something of a poker face.


And LIED LIKE MY SOCIAL LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!

and more people got involved, and started swearing they saw differences, (yeah right)

And as unconvinced as they were, they couldn't bring themselves to call my bluff, so they were just SO PUZZLED and UNSATISFIED

I hope this story provides some very belated closure that you all have needed. I lost the terrapin. and you were right. I suck.

BUT BUT just know that it went missing, and there is still hope. those things live forever right...we'll light a candle and it'll show up some day ...with a family of it's own. THis is a HAPPY ENDING.

The Wardrobe Malfunction and The Amazing Friends

Hey reader, for those of you who aren't aware, macro-teaching is something we teacher trainees have to go through in preparation for out practicals. It's where we conduct a mock-30 minute lesson in the teaching lab and are recorded and evaluated. It was my turn earlier this morning, and deep breath SIGH, its over.

But I'm going to tell you about the whole long dragged out annoying bad-luck-ridden process okay!

last night I was sick with worry, but I thought to myself ....I'll sleep the night through, because I need to feel the adrenaline tomorrow, right before I present. you know that adrenaline rush don't you?

Anyway if ADRENALINE were a BRIGHT SHINY balloon then I was a little kid then who wanted that balloon so bad.

this is what happened today. ..

Okay enough with the drama, ...this is what happened.

So obviously I was worried about all kinds of things,
1. Would my friends even come?

I thought these (machas) Arifuddin and Syafwan definitely wouldn't show up.. HAHA. WRONG.
They came and I'm definitely guilty of assuming the worst. Sorry guys.

2. What should I wear?
 On hindsight I probably should have spent more time thinking about this.
But after sniffing all my decent clothes I was left with a blouse and a pair of fitting pants. To be honest when I put it on I thought I looked very decent....and professional enough to present.

Little did I know, what I was seeing was not quite what the world was seeing

Anyway the second I handed my lecturer the lesson plan, everything spiraled out of control....for a while. I never got my adrenaline rush because of scolding I got due to my poor choice of clothes. yea yea Guilty as charged. I'll admit that.

The mock-lesson however went okay enough. So I was relieved because I know that wasn't my best presentation. It really helps having your classmates acting as students. They've always got your back. Love you guys.
Emily and Arifuddin for subtly pointing out that I had missed out a whole worksheet. LOL
Everyone for "acting" enthusiastically enough!
and everyone for giving me the constructive criticism i needed. THANK YOU.

Class photo!

After mine, it was Lydia's turn, and she taught us how to write a thank you note.
SO THIS is MY thank you note! Heee

HOW I PROCRASTINATE

Hi everyone, at times with my super short attention span, I really find it hard to focus on anything for more than 5 minutes, which is hard when it comes to essay writing, assignment planning, summary writing, maggi cooking, water boil- waiting, wifi connection- waiting, ear-infection curing  doing ANYTHING! 
And most importantly as a student...studying. 

 

note: Do work TOmORROW =)

Making My Part-time Job sound awesome

Hello reader, recently I took on a small part time job at I-City and since I'm on break for 2 months, a lot of people ask me the same question.

Are you working anywhere? Are you doing anything part-time?

Therefore, it was crucial for me to make my shitty lifeless excuse of a job seem like a goldmine. 

And it's all in the wordplay. 

First of all let me explain my job

JOB DESCRIPTION: I was responsible for the CHECKING of tickets bought and admitting customers up into the museum.  

Note: *No brains required

At first I was determined to make people understand the nature of my job. 

"Oh yes, uncle I'm working now. I actually work at the checkpoint, that is to say I actually check tickets. No not as important as selling the tickets, I just check them, and wave the customers through. Like at the cinema, where school drop-outs are sometimes employed, yes like that. no we don't even have to think, we just scan the tickets and make sure they're valid. No, we don't have to say anything, and there are no social skills required. I basically make sure the kids are kids and adults are adults. I only make rm800"

Then I realised, my shitty lifeless excuse of a job was getting too much of a review. I was achieving nothing, except tut tuts of disappointment and polite smiles.

 So instead I rephrased

"yes uncle, I agreed to greet customers for 12 days for nearly a thousand ringgit" 

okay that might be stretching it

"Yes, uncle I'm working at a wax museum." Oh about RM800 plus" Oh I do nothing" 

or my favourite.

"Yes uncle, I'm working. Im being paid Rm 800 to smile at people." 

KACHINGG! $$ no further questions~

Try it yourself! lol 

Campus Comedy: On a test

First World Problems

What do you do when your lows are more frequent than your highs????

 Hey reader, lets skip the hellos and how've-you-beens, because this is MY first world problem and I know i (up to this point) have sounded like a pretty happy-go-lucky, laid back and make lemonade type of person, but the truth is...I have been down some (mental) dark alleys myself and this particular one I'm on, doesn't even have street lamps. Uh oh.

Now first let me highlight three things
1. the vital importance of being motivated
2. there is truth in the sentence "surrounded by friends and being alone"
3. getting out of the funk

THE VITAL IMPORTANCE OF BEING MOTIVATED 

I don't know what your views on motivation are, but I recognize (in my current circumstance especially) the need to be constantly motivated. It is regrettable that this source of drive does not come from within me, and therefore I always have to draw up and create it for myself. \

But what happens when you aren't in a good place yourself? My motivation source has depleted, and I am left dragging my feet

The world is made up of two kinds of idiots. 

The ones who get pissed over nothing. and the kind who slips on piss. 

Unfortunately I am of the latter category. 

I choose not to explain myself further. Haha. 

2. Solitary in good company

Recently a good friend of mine, expressed genuine shock when I told her that I felt sad and angry about something. She could not for the life of her believe that EYE was capable of feeling anything.  I guess this is testament to the kind of relationships I have and build. 

Which probably means that the problem lies within me. *sigh*

What can I say? I like the way I operate, less you show the better. Alas this also means, the less people know how to deal with you.

But I take great consolation in the fact that I have God, my family and a few crazies in my life to keep this engine running. =))

3. Getting Out of the Funk

What do you do 

to finally breakthrough

the trunk load of junk 

that causes the funk?

You sit on your bum 

and make your face glum

and trust me you'll see

the "people don't like meeee"

You get up and smile 

think happy for a while

and the funk will go away 

and satisfaction will stay. 

Always ALWAYS beware of the funk

It’s dark and foul and stinks likes a skunk

And when the funk comes out to play

You’d best breathe happy gas all day

true.story.

Drifting

"I am the coolest person I know" and THAT ladies and gentlemen is the secret to staying positive.

our iceberg community

Sometimes cracks appear but no one sees them coming

I don't know about you but I'm feeling 22!

Hello reader, the 9th of January came along again and I've turned another year older.

I dunno but 22 seems very ordinary.

I mean when you hit 20 it feels ridiculously exciting to finally hit the number TWO

and 21 is special for some universal reason....and everyone celebrates it with you.

22? it just reminds me i'm getting older. lol.

Having said that, I must admit that this birthday was the best ever!

I had friends over! I know that sounds normal, but I've never had my best friends over and we finally did get together in ma crib...with the absence of my bestest friend and cuzz ever, Pat, who left two days before for India. Wish you wuz here cuz..

A Walk on the Wildside

Hello reader, it sure has been a while. Have you been making life altering decisions as well? That makes two of us.

I've gotten haircuts before, no none of that cut, wash, blow, dry  rm20 rubbish in saloons; i'm talking about the regular Chinese aunty's hairdresser shop,

"Aunty layer sikit"

"Aunty potong dua inchi"

"Aunty mau fringe. Panjang sikit"

"Aunty berapa?"

"Lai sepuluh ringgit"

SCORE!

Which leads to my story...
So the other day, I was having a bad hair day, which happens quite frequently  when your hair is long, dry and matted. Now most times I can take this kind of stubbornness but that particular day, my comb got stuck and just wouldn't come lose.

I sat in a discouraged heap on the bathroom floor seriously contemplating shaving my head. Going bald,

Long hair story short, I had it chopped off.

We never really realise how much people's opinions matter, until we make a huge decision.

Now the thing with these big drastic decisions is the general opinion about it will determine if you make that decision again.
For example, if you go blond,.. and only your mom likes it.

Then, you throw away the bottle of dye.

Or if you decide to curl your hair... and only your little bro hates it

chances are you'll keep it.

My point is, majority wins. We don't realise it but we're actually very dependent on the reaction of people around us.

But what if there isn't a majority?

as in with my hairstyle.

How could the world be so indecisive!!?!?

COuld one person's hairstyle make thatttt much of a difference. I mean it has been a MONTHH! and i still get my own classmates trying to do damage control ....

But I guess the fact that I AM okay with this look is what matters

Now to grow it out...


Memorable quotes from uni friends 

Emily : OMG!!!! *touch touch* what you did!!!!! K you can't wear baju kurungs edi lah...*warning*

AZie : LIZAMARIA! APE KO BUATTT! HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! *screams*

Arifuddin: Liza, tadi tak sempat nak tegur. Sumpah hodoh. k tu je

zaini: : takpe takpe, boleh straighten takpe....*pause pause* *pitiful look* macam lelaki la haha.

hafiz: muka ang dah start okay da, skarang terus tak la...NYONYA!

Joey: oh hello Polly

Moganis: hi liza. *turns again* LIZA!! YOu cut your hair!!

Theeb: Halle Berry

Tina: You're very handsome...

Klang friends 

Shalini: Lisaa-.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHATTTTTT!!!

yeanmay: HAHHAHAHAHHAHAH oMG eh why you go and do this!??! whats wrong with you?

pat: nice la! f*king n*tans..i love it..

liyana: you look hot liza!

jes: omg. love it...


Make decisions and own them!!
You'll make wearing a sack look fashionable..