Monday, 11 October 2010

Penny for my thoughts?

Sorry I'm forcing this on you, reader. I'm going to try to be as blunt as possible in this post, and I love putting in dumb dramatic cartoons, pictures, or dialogues, but this is supposed to be serious. =P

okay seriousness starts now!

okay now! serious now!

 let me just explain that my phone is on the verge of committing suicide...its organs are failing. sometimes I don't receive messages. Sometimes they arrive two hours later. Sometimes I think no one is replying the messages that I send...and then I get depressed!

But after restarting my phone, I get a shitload of messages that I missed, and

I'm very sorry if I ignored you or bitch stared you thinking you were a jerk for not replying.
I'm sorry if YOU guys thought I was a cow for not replying when you asked important questions
I'm sorry also if YOU were telling me something, and I never replied with a thanks.

I NEVER got those messages till the next day.
sorry vina, emily and others that I am too ashamed to put here.

thoughts that constantly play in my kepalahotak everyday, is

What is the difference between being useful and being used?
 I like to think that I'm being useful
How on earth do you know if you're being shamelessly exploited.

How do you know if you are friends because of your personality?, or only for what they can get from you...?

How do you fucking know?

Do I bore people half to death with my lame jokes and hopeless reactions?
Are people really listening when I talk to them? or are they just waiting for me to shut up so they can get back to their problems? Am I sometimes wasting my breath talking to these people?

Am I a god forsaken "people-pleaser"?? Why in the world do I always feel like I need to do something to make people happy with me?

I ALWAYS wonder if people think I'm actually nice or just a loser who sometimes makes them laugh.
these questions are jigsaw pieces I'm still trying to fix

Yes there is a danger of me becoming paranoid, but I really do wonder about all those questions.
I asked God once, but he hasn't replied....maybe he did, but I never received it.:P
joking aside, I'm sure I'll come to the answer with patience.


arepRuz said...

len kali jgn dk wt muka taek kt org len....:-)

emily tina said...

hhahahaha..gud one...neway, 'ur' serious was not serious at all k!!!!=)
its a good post actly..liZa (mind d Z!), actually its not u..dont wori k..
here is wat i fil,
some people b frens with u for wat U R- D GUD FRENS i mean...
frens no 2 r the ones who use u for their own benefits..
u noe wat, FRENS R jez FRENS..THEY CaNT B angels or saints..
so, u just BEING U ..(other than praying to God,asking Him to change their attitude),u can oni bare their stu*** fuc**** attitude...

lizamaria said...

thanks for the advice pantoww!!

emily said...

no probs~im just trying to help =)