Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Buying Levis Jeans

Let me tell you, picking out jeans that fit right is hard and takes a good 20 minutes

4 TYPES OF customers

1.  The window shopper

. The window shoppers come in big groups of friends or with the whole family; they have no intention of spending 20 minutes trying on jeans. They make a very fast round through the shop and exit.

sales assistant hint: DO not bother...just smile at a distance. they ain't buying nothing.

2. Unplanned spenders

Unplanned spenders are loaded but walk in rather aimlessly by themselves or with a girlfriend. They look at jeans, they look at blouses, then they browse through shoes, and if you’re lucky they happen to like a belt. They’ll get it and GO.

sales assistant hint: everything they touch looks "so good on them". Remind every second!

3. Target shopper

The target shopper knows what she wants, what she is looking for. She wants a Skinny, DEmi Curve pair in a size 28...and then she’ll look at you (the assistant) to pick out the size. Don’t hover, don’t follow around, don’t ask questions, don’t bloody try to sell them things in their face.

sales assistant hint: KNOW your STUFF

4. The I-have-no-clue-please-HELP-me shopper

This aunty will walk in very slowly with the most confused expression on her face, you would think she walked into the wrong shop. Then she admits it has been 10 years since her last pair of jeans.They take everything you say as gospel truth (I don’t lie or anything) and are always willing to listen to your expertise.

sales assistant hint: NEVER lie!....crap with confidence!

Organic Food!

Despite the exciting looking title

I was walking through the ORganiccc section in the Jusco supermarket....

Maybe you remember how organic food started gaining popularity? started with plain ol vegetables,....grown without pesticide...natural fertilizers....
It made us STOP AND THINK....about our suspiciously green vegetables...

okay fine...

But now, there's organic EVERYTHING

What the?!?!

So what have we been drinking all the while? Plastic cow milk??

TRY the Organic Cow....its realll...

Fine, this cow was given organic veges to eat...
the world was becoming more health conscious UNTILLL 

some things didn't make sense....

like eggs....

At the end of the day, just wash your vegetables under running water, and you'll have a long healthy life.
Yes I know that was a horrible conclusion to this awkward article. 


Sunday, 5 June 2011


I remember when I was 17 and had an essay to write. I decided to write a story and start with the classic ‘Once upon a time’. But I couldn’t spell ‘Upon’. U.P.O.N. Yes I was seventeen, and COULD NOT for the life of me remember how to spell a word that I had seen and read millions of times.






Then I conveniently gave up on the essay....till later.

Yes I will be teaching your kids soon enough.

Don’t worry it’s not how you spell it, it’s how you use it.