Packing on the pounds

Once, I was slim and Pat was skinny.

 

Pat told me that she would love to put on some weight. I said...reacting as every friend would, when a friend wants to commit suicide, NO!...X not cool not the way to go!!

Pat went to Australia, and put on 10kg. It showed on her face. She told me she was happy, but when her mum mentioned it, pat got angry. Go figure. Pat cycles and does yoga now.

I slept, and woke up the next year.

 15 kg heavier.

 Bugger.

My mother had to tell me, because, I didn’t really notice.”

 Your thighs are getting big”...sorry it was more along the lines of “you’ve got elephant-thigh-tis”...daimmmmnnnnn.

Marc (tapeworm infested runt) and Laura agreed vehemently...Marlene tried to be supportive.

I wish I could say I now do 5km every day after the gym, but I have absolutely no right to claim that statement....SHITTAKE.....

I do enjoy doing the hoola hoop while listening to music, reading, or watching telly. It’s a slow and painstaking battle.

Hang on.....I am NOT obese, cause it was starting to sound like I was

Nor am I overweight

Or for that matter fat

BUT I’m sure as hell not healthy.....

 

 

Daft me

daimmmnnnn....so I decided to go out to my friend J's place. She, by the way lives just around the corner from where I do. Anyway I managed to drag my cousin P along with me.

 We ended up watching a movie because for J "let’s go for a walk" meant "lets eat fruit cake and watch Enchanted"

My curfew was and is still thank goodness 7 o'clock for evening strolls, and it was seven thirty. We watched enchanted which is sooo weirdly overrated. How could a movie like that be a phenomenon in the U.K???

aaah..aaaah..aaaaaah..ahaa(the tune she sings to call the rodents and pigeons)

 

        P had cycled over and J said her brother, J, would send us back. (ok f*ck it this is getting annoying).

 

        So I said I would be back at 8.

 

 At eight exactly, Jacinta convinced us to play a game of dice, much to Pat’s excitement. I, daftly agreed...thinking.....not thinking....

 

        Little did I know a storm was brewing at home. Mother just worried, but FATHER got angry. Oh nooo...I never even stopped to think..

 

Then later Joey joined in, so we couldn’t ask him to send us home then. Pat said we had to get on his good side, or he would be very sarcastically grumpy about it.

 

And I must admit, the game was very the fun!!

 

And then...the clock struck eleven................................ but I didn’t hear it....curses...

 

Then my phone rang, praying it was mother, knowing it was father, I glanced at the screen. 

SHITTAKE!!!!@!#$@#.....i was right...

 

 

DEBUT blogging experience

Yeaah, I'll be the first to admit, I never thought much about blogging. I mean why would anyone want to put out their "dirty linen" so to speak for every one to read. Absurd. Then my brother did it. I was buta. What in the world was the unfeeling wretch (pardon the language) going to write??? Turns out his litarary journey took us through an explicit story of adventures with a lunatic DICk and his tribe of losers. and then, when he'd run out of cuss words, he cried "writers block"... Anyway I figured, that blogging was a good way, nay an excellent way to vent and reflect at the same time. so here i am content with my discovery, to start this blogging thingy with the public...whew