Monday, 20 October 2014
Hesitance- a reluctance to do something quickly or immediately, usually because you are uncertain, embarrassed or worried
When I was asked to join this national level debate, I was hesitant. I had had a single bad experience debating in high school, and still allowed the memory of that to dictate my thoughts and feelings. A small part of me was honoured that I was asked in the first place but my brain also furiously dug up the old mortifying memories; the loss for words, the stuttering, the nerves. I went back to my room allowing all these single tiny thoughts wash over me creating a tsunami of self-doubt; I'm hardly the person to do this; "If only they knew what a lousy debater I was", "I cannot", "I cannot", "I cannot do this."
While I felt my self drowning and looking for escape routes (couldn't someone else do it?) I also momentarily thought of my other team mates on the trip;
One who seemed to be juggling the world on her plate, and still remained positive enough to brave yet another challenge thrown her way
One who had no prior knowledge of debates, but was keen on learning everything he could
One who was called at the last minute, two days before the debates, and immediately drove down to be part of the team
Hmmm, so, what was my excuse?
I didn't have anything else on my plate?
I HAD a bit of experience?
I was called weeks before the debates and could prepare?
Suddenly, I realised that if I changed my perspective, I was looking at all positives.
When an opportunity floats along, don't think just jump.