Friday, 18 March 2011

I am Number Four..

When I watch a movie

1. i usually Spend RM 20 on tickets and food. With that money you could have dinner for a week, but who cares when there’s a hot guy acting in a movie.

 2.   Go early and take photos next to live size posters (preferably next to the hot guy in the poster). Proceed by taking photos of our popcorn, drink and tickets as PROOF that WE WERE HERE!!!

3.  Finish half the popcorn while waiting for the cinema to open

 4.  Finish the other half while watching the advertisements before the movie.

5. Keep chewing on and re-spitting the hard corn kernels into the box, during the movie. 

6. Even though I know I'm ruining the mood for EVERYBODY, I still pass my popcorn/chachos/cheezels/any noisy food down the whole row offering my friends. 

7.When it comes back, put a few in my mouth and wonder if I should pass the popcorn again.

8. Pass the popcorn again but no one cares anymore, (Shut up and keep your chips).

9. ooh!!!Climax: Dumbledore dies/ the ring is destroyed/Narnia is saved/Spiderman lives!!!/Adnan Sempit saves the day/  And I miss it... 

10. End up hating most cinema experiences... 

having said that, I am Number Four was pretty good. =)


Sunday, 13 March 2011

A Girl's Guide to Living on A2

1.        Microchip clothes pegs!
All your clothes pegs will at some point get stolen.
2.       Don’t be dumb about hanging underwear to dry. You won’t look very cool picking them up from the drain later.
3.       Wringing your clothes over the balcony can be good fun! But for goodness sake don’t do it no matter how much we’re jealous of our ground floor  friends...
4.     Discover the dustbin today!
Onions, bones, and maggi mee strands do not dissolve. DO NOT leave them in the sinkhole.

5.      Fight that urge!
Whenever you want to flush it down the toilet, creatively stick it on the wall, or shove in the flush tank, remember there’s an easier option. SANITARY BINS!
6.     Leave your shampoo and facial wash by the sink again and I SWEAR I will use them. How can you not be afraid of that?!

Friday, 4 March 2011

When you realize, your social life is but a distant memory.

I was looking through my inbox and it hit me that it was full of variations of the SAME message..

"wei, meeting at 8pm?cafe?"

"hello shall we discuss gerko. cafe?"

"we need to meet for reading! cafe, 2pm?"

"coming to the cafe now. discussion at ten"

"sorry papa, was in the work"

"i'll call you back. Im in the cafe. assignment"

" hey wanna sleep over in the cafe? life will be easier. I'll bring mattresses. we'll steal the buns, and discuss till dawn!"

Thursday, 3 March 2011

4 things you didn't know about University

I've thought about it for a long time and realise that apart from brains, looks and a religion you absolutely have to possess some BASIC survival skills before stepping into the University Jungle, or it’s going to be a bumpy ride. Did I say bumpy? I meant HELL OF AN AWKWARD ride.

1.         1  OwN sMALL tALk!!!
I’m telling you, if you don’t own small talk, you are a LOSER and will have no friends for the rest of university life.

Many people don’t realise the importance of this till it’s too late.

My idea of small talk is blurting out random topics eventhough the small talk topic has already been established.

After my jog..
Guy: how many rounds today?
Liza: 7
Stare, stare, awkward, stare (this is where I’m supposed to say something)
Liza: you bought milo!(huh??)....where are you going? (too weird)...hello (redundant) didn’t jog? (obviously)...why didn’t you jog? (mother freak)
We’ve passed and I am left with  

2.    ThE DeAf will noT SuRviVe

and I speak from experience...

At the pasar malam
Girl: liza! Datang naik apa? Van ke?
Liza: ya, dah habis beli

At orientation
Lecturer: awak ni bangsa india ke?
Liza: er.. Klang.

Girl: lizaa.. Beli apa?
Liza: oh..jalan kaki.

So before people think you are a complete mental case, please clean out your ears now and again.

3.   Don’T dResS liKe yOU Own ThE CamPus
Because you don’t, you little spastic. Your seniors own the place. And their seniors own the place (to them) and this piece of mental cognition carries on till the most senior students... who are actually nice people (because they KNOW they own the placeJ

4.    Smile AT EVeRyoNe! especially to seniors. Owh mental note for everyone. be the first to smile.

Not this kinda smile

It might induce instant hatred and again people might come to a bad conclusion about you mental health.

Try being normal lah.

the hey-ive-seen-you-around smile

it looks like this    =)

Follow these guidelines/pieces of advice and you should have a bump free uni life

ooh on fashion,

 girls get a bra that fits right, 

and guys, bell bottom/70's style pants/ jeans should be burnt!! hell...they are not cool.