SOLI LAOSHI

Today I have the misfortune of sitting in for 120 minutes (3 periods) in the removed class (PERALIHAN)

New teacher image

5 minutes in,  two of them start shouting "pigu" (mandarin for 'buttocks') at some girls walking past. 

In my limited knowledge of Mandarin, "pigu" had made it's way into my vocabulary. 

So I grab my handy plastic ruler and rap the offenders on their palms (which they offer up quite quickly, much to my annoyance)

As soon as I turn my back, another one yells out the window..."WOIIII PIGU!" 

I spin around and yank the offenders ears, a punishment that always brought immediate apologies growing up in my household. Sure enough...

"OWW. sorry laoshi...sorry laoshi"

"ONE MORE TIME I HEAR YOU SAY THAT WORD...." I brandish the ruler and glare at them 

I even swat the air a few times for effect of the "whoosh sound"

"okay okay, cikgu tau meh pigu itu apa!?"

"TAU!"

"okay okay"

I take five steps towards the teacher's table and then I hear it...

A low...soft...chanting...of 6 or 7 boys,a unified harmonious, even haunting minion tune...

peeee....guuuu......peeee....guuuuuu....peeeee....guuuuuu...peeeee....guuuuu....

I sigh.... look down at my watch.....only 15 minutes have gone by...