Exam Season

Invigilating 1 Belatuk is like hosting a twisted talent competition.

I Belatuk sat for their history paper today, and had to contain their otherwise relentless energy to conform to the numbing silence of the exam atmosphere. Under these dreary circumstances, they still showed tremendous effort to entertain and put up a great show. Bless them.

s A: *makes whistling sound through his teeth to the crippled tune of "baby shark doo doo"
me: Viknes! ....
s A: Oh!hiiii *waves*

s B : Rocks his chair so far back that his head lands on table behind. knocks his head on that table.
me: Sharen! Stop that *through gritted teeth*
s B: *does a Tamil movie-star salute* (ask me for a demonstration anytime)

s C: pulls up t-shirt over his head to form a tudung, rocks back and forth and stares at me....blinking

SUDDEN THOUGHT!: Oh God, they're taking turns!
Nope, NOT this time. I will NOT react.

s C : *starts singing a Malay song and wraps t-shirt-tudung tighter around his head.
me: Norman!! Sleep! Now!
s C: Sorry teacher.

-eerie scraping sound begins-

me *what now? searches wildly around the room.

s D: Using a pair of scissors to carve up the notice boards on the side. making a bloody mess of confetti.
me: Chuan Sze...what is wrong with your head. (mental note: make him clean it up, without a broom)
s D : *stops for a blessed second*

s E: seeing all the drama, decides to stretch and make a loud BURRRRPP sound. (then says oops and acts like it was a mistake)
*class giggles madly*

s F: has been suspiciously quiet all the while *decides this is the best time to test his catapult (ruler over three erasers to launch little paper balls, one of which hits the teeth whistler on the forhead) *SMACKK*

s A: Hoi! Cikgu kacau cikgu...*throws paper back* misses *hits tudung boy* who jumps and shrieks because he scares easily.

Teeth whistler, truly an accomplished musician, begins with a round of percussion. *plays imaginary tabla under his desk* -war drums in the Blackboard Jungle.

*class erupts* "WE ARE ENTERTAINED," their eyes scream, because their mouths can't

Some who were blissfully asleep, stir from their slumber.

No no nooooooo...

me: Suppresses aggressive language with Herculean effort.
"One more word, and you all go for recess late.

That's it. Silence. Recess always wins.

Encore! Encore!