The Art of Saying No

Hello reader, How is your weekend going? Off hiking? Building an arm chair? Travelling to New Zealand? Food hunting? Good for you!

My ideal weekend involves actively doing nothing, in my room, with Spotify turned up, some form of junkfood, (and if my internet is being nice) a movie.  Nothing tops this. So if I am out and about on a friday and/or Saturday, its either obligation or a case of me not being able to say no.

Saying no is extremely hard for some, and an especially arduous task for me. It is NOT because I have a heart of gold; neither does saying YES give me a deep sense of fulfilment. I say yes, because the alternative seems like a socially gargantuan task. 

What my brain is thinking : 

"No, I don't feel like it"

"No, I'd rather not"

"Nahhhhhhhh"

"No way, I'd spend my afternoon doing that"

"Hell no!"

What my mouth says:

"oh OKay"

"yea sure"

"yea can"

"yes Im okay with that"

"yay, sounds like a plan"

So at the end of the day, I’m left with nothing but a shitty sense of you-tricked-me.

OVERCOMPENSATING

A few times, my brain wins! And I end up declining an offer to hang out. But then I do this absurd thing where I try to make up for meet ups I’m unable to/ don't want to attend... and...sigh.   Let me illustrate, 

In the picture above, I have very expertly dodged a lunch. Alas, somehow I end up planning a raincheck meet up, and  even recommending a place! ARgH!!!

This has occurred an uncountable number of times! 

But the real question is, "why can't I say no"??


1. Too concerned with what people think 
People talk, they come to conclusions, and they infer from situations, I do it all the time. So I get really nervous about what people would think of me if I were to reject an invite. 

I wonder if anyone out there feels remotely the same. 

Having said all this, I do enjoy going out sometimes. Not a total weirdo. Hanging out with yourself doesn't allow for much conversation. 

So if anyone is struggling with this predicament, just remember, you are not alone. We'll figure it out soon enough.